…and I Will Think of Home.

I’m going to think of home when my dreams soar high and I have no time to look back. I am going to think of home when every piece of success lays its fortunes upon my head, and I get dragged into the vortex of bustling lives. I am going to think of home everytime I see a little girl twirl playfully around her father, or witness siblings fight over cones of ice cream. I am going to think of home when I sit all alone in brief moments of solitude..just to remind myself where I came from. Each time I feel failure’s bequest, I am going to think of home. I am going to think of the places I’ve dreamt of as a little girl, and smile while sighing at how most of them are checked off. I am going to think of home and remember how every bitter fight and every love lost lead me to something as beautiful as the life I’ve made for myself..for gratitude is all I have.

The Man Who Changed Fashion

This is normally not the kind of post I’d do on my blog, but it goes out to someone who has been a special form of inspiration to me – Oscar de la Renta.

RIP

For 50 years straight that man has single handedly changed the way women across the globe have viewed not only fashion, but also themselves. “There is always an emotional element to anything that you make”, is what he says, and nothing could be more true than that. You don’t have to be a designer to understand that. Whatever you do has meaning, and will always influence people in away you may or may not realize. This is one of the biggest things I’ve learned from him.

Regardless of how good or bad a collection might be, it’s a letdown after the show is over. It’s done. Something you’ve worked on for months is just over.
Oscar de la Renta

He speaks of style from the perspective of a person’s individuality, which is something not a lot of people understand. Every design of his tells a story. Every beautifully handpicked fabric is there for a reason, and the people who wear these pieces of art, carry forward his tales with an added touch of their own. Fashion will never only be about clothing.

Even though I can’t pinpoint my favourite Oscar de la Renta gowns, here are a few of my favourites.

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RIP Oscar de la Renta, you’ll be missed.

The Ones Who Matter

I’ve walked a lot of roads with you, even the forked ones with different choices. You’ve been by my side from the start, and an end I know will lie once we turn to dust. Great friendships have no expiry date, and with you, I know that’s the case. You’ve been there through all my highs and lows. You’ve showed me endless love, forgiveness and care…and given me hope that in a world full of despair, there are a few people who will never give up on you.

People look for these things all their life, some sadly never find them, while I’m lucky to enough to have found you already. You’ve been the greatest friend a person could have, and nothing feels better than growing up together. I feel grateful for all the wonderful things you have in your life. No one deserves them better than you, trust me when I say that. You’re the most wonderful and charming person I know, and I’m sure you’ll always make the right choices wherever you go.

Go make it huge in life. Walk on paths you’d never dream to tread on, try things you’d never do and fill your life with the most meaningful experiences that it can offer. It will always pay off. And hell, they’ll make for wonderful stories to share when we meet in beautiful places across the world just for a glass of great whiskey.

To us.

Your Mirror.

Somewhere we wear off on each other. With long forgotten friendships and beautiful love stories, we leave a big bold mark of our presence wherever we go. No matter how insignificant, people will always remember you as the person who made a difference. The one person who showed them what glee and blissful happiness was, if only for a fleeting moment. The one person who bared their soul right before you, not caring if they were being judged or not. The one person who showed them that it’s okay to fail, okay to feel human and okay to just be yourself. That one person you will find in everyone, and it will remind you of the times you saw yourself in her.

Her Self Canvas

Oh no no, art to me is not some beautiful painting-to be seen and forgotten. Art, is a way of life. Hell, even better, art is life. It’s this crazy driven passion where everything you want to say or feel is expressed through strokes; gentle or crazy. It’s a mad, mad world out there, and art is the endless solace you find. Art is the insane passion of a lover and his music. Art is the soul of a poet. Art is that feeling of seeing a blank canvas slowly being dabbed by paint. Technique by technique, until a conclusive masterpiece is drawn. A masterpiece not to impress the world, but a masterpiece of the mind’s finest thoughts being expressed in a language, incomprehensible. Everything you can imagine is real, indeed, and you are the lunatic creator of it all.

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This is a part of a conceptual photoshoot I did with my best friend who also happens to be an artist 🙂

Gliding My Consciousness

Sadly, I cannot flee the world the way my destiny planned for me. I was saved by braver ones who heard my calls of reinforcement. My body tattered. My soul damaged. My feet scalloped with addiction. What am I, now?

I stare at the ceiling as if in a slow trance, making shapes of the dancing sunlight. Them greens and reds constantly reflected as a swirl of rapids, with geyser like outbursts of charcoal black. I pray for those bright dancing colours to come back, just so I can taste their raw scent. You see, that was when I first saw her mesmerising smile gleaming through the shafts of fire and music. Her soft laughter, complimented with a light push of her sunny hair, made the army life seem like a walk by the coast. It was then I, a misplaced boy who joined the army on mama’s word, found a reason to live by.

Our love wasn’t the sort they show in your films today. She wasn’t the Commanding Officer’s daughter nor was I the most handsome person in the troop. We did live our ordinary lives which intertwined with strings of commitment. The beach was her favourite place, and that was exactly where I asked her to be my bride. Now, she’s no more. The war took her away. It took everyone away. It only left those who thought they were meant to die on the battle field, and buried with full state honours.

I can’t walk on the beach anymore. My life feels like a worn off dream lost in a comfortable sort of chaos. I run miles and miles to put it all together. To bring back all that I feel, to no avail. I keep running to chase the pot of gold, only to know that the hopeful mirage is just an endless reseeding window. I am a vulnerable man whose fading ego sinks.

All I now see and hear are noises. They never leave me. They gnaw silently at the back of my mind, and when I catch myself running away again, they grow louder and louder. My identity mirror fails me each time, and now I shall call for my own end.

Artist: Emily Carr

The running man, the noises, the faces are all a blur of a long forgotten epoch.

Choices.

All bound by pre-conceived notions.
Which convince you to a point;
Wherein you know your shadow,
Outdoes the happiness you owned.

You believe what they tell you,
In a lost anticipation, of sorts,
Outer beauty overtakes thy soul,
And the unnecessary is brought.

You stick in there, bound by fear,
Or maybe convinced loves..
Your voice inside pushes you
So you find a constructive construe.

It was hoped to work, but ended failed,
And you seem at bay for the mask is gone,
Incomplete words and a lost you,
You scrape yourself from the mirage of dirt.

Then it all comes crashing down,
And you feel like fragile china,
The voice then arises stronger-again..
A belief powerful to alter the mind.

You fight and fight in internal conflict,
But reach a conclusion by the break of dawn,
Seemingly perfect to your tired soul;
Pitifully worn off by tales untold.

A sense of liberation overtakes you now,
True and pure conviction prevails,
An honest goodness makes tides favourable,
And in a while your boat a’sails.

You leave the poisoned land in a mist,
And enter unchartered territories again;
The wanderlust star guides you home,
And rewards you back with the sense you’d known.

You travel and travel, and topple too..
But nothing shatters your strong insides,
You’re an explorer, a discoverer with an empty suitcase-
Bound by experiences that keep you surfaced.

What happens hence fourth, goes down in ink
Your little travelogue of immeasurable value,
A rich mind always open to yearning,
You find a strong enough footing!

The past choices connect the dots;
And lead you to life anew
The likes of them famous outcasts,
Act as shadowed helping hands.

You’ve now taken in all you have,
Your suitcase is full of tangible knowledge,
Now ready in a flight of dreams and desires,
You strike your life as the magic in fire.

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Words.

Some people are like pictures, but he was a story. He was lines and lines of beautifully crafted words all strung together with all its romanticism. He was like a gush of fresh wind. He was day, and now, all I have is night. He loved me with all my brokenness, while the night fed my dark side with the love it deserved. He was no mere lover, he was life. He was everything that was meant to be. Tough times call tough choices, but he made so much worth it. Why does love slip so? Even when you know it exists in the crevices of your inner demon? Good choices also possess regret, and this is mine.

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